Dream

As I was drifting off to sleep last night I thought I heard my Dad's voice. I thought he might have been calling. I even got up from my cozy, sleepy state because I thought it might have been real. I wanted it to be real so badly. I miss him so much.

After I fell asleep I had a dream that I was walking in a factory. There was a lot of steam and a staircase. I remember walking out of the factory to my car, but it was only the front end of it though and I had to carry it like a wheelbarrow. It was not weird to me that my car was in this condition. It was night when I was "moving" my car. The headlights were on and I ended up at a school campus "moving" my car along the sidewalk.

To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. There are some issues in your life that you are facing, but are not too clear. You should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings

To dream that you are at a factory, represents repetitious thinking and an old way of doing things. It is symbolic of predictability and unchanging habits. Alternatively, it signifies business, productivity, energy and bustling activity. You are a person that can get things done.

To see or hear steam in your dream, denotes your emotional state regarding an issue or situation. You are headstrong about proceeding forth on an issue. It may also indicate that you are angry with someone or at something as in the metaphor "letting out steam". Alternatively, it signifies a new idea or some "steamy" situation.

To see a staircase in your dream, symbolizes change and transformation.

To dream that you are walking with ease, signifies a slow, but steady progress toward your goals. You are moving through life in a confident manner. Consider your destination.

To dream that you are on a campus, indicates your need to expand your thinking/knowledge and challenge yourself mentally.

To dream that you are driving a car, denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. If you are driving the car, then you are taking an active role in the way your life is going. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.

To see or use a wheelbarrow in your dream, represents hard work, labor, and difficulties. It also symbolizes your body and the way that you are moving about through life.

To see floodlights in your dreams, symbolizes your desire to open up so that everything is in the open and understood. You need to try to shed as much light on a subject as you can.

To see light in your dream, represents illumination, clear mind, guidance, plain understanding, and insight. Light is being shed on a once cloudy situation or problem. You have found the truth to a situation or an answer to a problem. Also consider the color of the light for additional significance.

To dream that you are walking on a sidewalk, represents your steady progress and direction in life. You may be moving on to new walks of life. Your dream may suggest that you need to alter your course and make some changes in your life.

The high today is going to be 37 degrees. (I can't believe I'm actually going to say this.) I'm excited about that. No really, I was actually almost giddy!

I will share with you the reason why I am joyous about 37 degrees... last week it was -11 and with wind-chill it was like -19. Yeah, that's why I'm freakin' giddy!

Searching

I frequently have dreams that feel "movie-like" to me and tend to be about being someplace where I feel the journey to get where I'm going is treacherous and confusing. Now matter how dangerous it appears, I am unscathed by my surroundings. It doesn't mean that I am not scared. I just know somehow I will make it through.

Last night I dreamt that I was wandering in a huge nursing facility. Even though I was wandering I didn't feel scared. I felt like I was searching for my Dad but I felt safe and peaceful. Another part of the dream I was outside and I saw a swimming pool and a winding staircase. My dreams don't always make sense but sometimes reading about their meaning is like a light-bulb turning on. Below are some interpretations of the key parts I could remember.

To dream that you are wandering, suggests that you are searching and looking for some direction in your life. You are lacking motivation. Alternatively, it represents a transformation.

To see a pool of water in your dream, indicates that you need to understand and deal with your emotions. You need to dive right in. Alternatively, a pool may indicate your need for cleansing. You need to wash away the past.

To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs, indicates that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual/emotional/material journey. It also represents material and thoughts that are coming to the surface.

To see spiral or winding stairs, signify growth and/or rebirth.

To dream of antiques, represent your time honored values, tradition, wisdom and inherited personal characteristics. It symbolizes something genuine or proven. Some things in your past are worth holding onto or worth keeping.

I am on a journey of discovery. I don't know where it will lead but I have faith that God is guiding me into something greater and more rewarding than I can comprehend.

Ecclesiastes 11 : 5 - 6 As you do not know what is the way of the wind, or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child, so you do not know the works of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and in the evening do not withhold your hand; for you do not know which will prosper, either this or that, or whether both alike will be good.

Hope and Patience

Something made me get up last night as I was drifting off to sleep and felt I needed to read my bible. In my bible cover I have a journal that I've been writing in for a decade! I turned to the first page and I realized then why I needed to get up.

"To hope means to desire with expectation of fulfillment. God is raising our level of expectations and increasing our hope for the future so that our faith may be activated to free us from what we see, strengthen us and give us peace."

Below is a portion of a devotional from Jay Kesler:

[Longsuffering] This quality of courageous patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5 : 22 - 23). In the King James version, the term is "longsuffering." It seems that significant character change is not possible without pain; look what it cost Christ to buy us the ability to change. Perhaps it's not possible for us help another person grow without pain, either. But there's a special power in the kind if suffering that takes place when a person stands, day in and day out, for what is right. It's the kind of power Jesus displayed when he was reviled but did not revile back. The person who desires change doesn't try to force it, but chooses to live the best way he or she can under the circumstances, trusting in God for daily strength and the final outcome.

2 Corinthains 4 : 7 - 18

Isaiah 40 : 29 - 31

I've been feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of my Dad. Mostly memories and dreams. One dream inparticular was Dad making pancakes like when we were kids. He would ask us which ones we wanted and we would deliberate and make our decision. Sometimes silver dollars, or "Pink Panther", or Mickey Mouse but most of the time it was regular ones because there was a lot of hungry people to feed and they were the quickest. I have a very strong hope to move back to California and be with my family and take care of Dad. I need to be with him as much as he needs me. God's timing is better than anything I could have tried to make happen by myself though.

Score

I always have an endless stack of mail on my dining table. The other day I finally went through it and lucky thing I did, there was a coupon for a FREE Chipotle burrito that expires on 12/31/08! Awesome, score one for me. Today I went with my friends Colleen and Will and enjoyed the deliciousness of Chipotle. Mmmm...

For the last month I feel like I've been in a fog, on November 25, 2008 my Dad had a major brain-stem stroke and has been in ICU since then. He has previously had smaller strokes but nothing of this magnitude. His eye-site and left side has been affected the most dramatically. He can't see, but may regain (at least) partial sight. My Dad is strong, always has been. I know he's still in there and he's fighting to come back.

It's not easy to see my Dad, the pillar of our family, confined to a hospital bed. I trust that God is holding him in the palm of His hand and taking care of him. No matter what we think He never leaves us alone. Since my Dad had his stroke God has been threading the remnants of our family together. Healing those old hurts to bond us together to make the strongest connection we have ever known. I have to trust with everything in my being that there is something greater happening here. There is peace to be found and sometimes that is through struggle.

The way God works isn't always the way we would choose, but after everything settles I believe we are stronger people for trusting in Him.

Surprises, Good and Bad

Okay first the good surprise, my birthday is in two weeks. My husband has a beautiful plan for me. He suggested we go to a hotel for a night just so I can go swimming! You see, we moved into this housing development in December of 2003 with high hopes of a pool that was promised to be completed by Memorial Day 2004.

Well, it is August 1st, 2008 and all we have seen is a hole being dug and I have yet to have my pool dammit! Completely infuriating.

My birthday is on a Friday which I am super excited about. My friends and I are planning to go out for drinks after work and then Saturday Kip and I will be headed out for some long overdue pool/alone time.

Now for the not so good surprise. I have been at my current company for five and a half years and I got written up for the first time yesterday. For socializing. Yep, I can't even believe that they would even bother. I was talking to someone (about a work issue) and a tattletale, ummm person saw me having that conversation and decided that they were going to tell my boss. And because this person was very demanding I got written up.
I am good at my job I get my work done in a timely manner and I get written up for chatting. To say the least I was upset, I cried in front of my boss and to tell you the truth I really didn't care at that point. Being written up for that is stupid and I told him so. I asked him what was an acceptable amount of socializing and he didn't have an answer for me. But he did tell me to keep it to a minimum. I asked him what that meant and he said "hi, hello, how are you, and move on." I was trying very hard to keep my emotions under control because my tears were out of anger at that point. I felt betrayed by him and just lost. He wasn't given me any direction and the paper with the write-up on it said I could be terminated if it happens again. Terminated for talking? I don't think so. I am furious. When my boss came in today he couldn't even look me in the eye. I don't understand why I am this person's target all of a sudden and if I'm busy "socializing" then she should be written up for being a no-good, busy body. I would like to say worse things and did yesterday.

My friend Colleen took me out for coffee after work last night and listened to me vent. I just love her, she is an excellent listener and a great comfort to me. I felt so much better after that. Then I had a crazy dream as I was drifting off to sleep last night and "that no-good, busy body" decided she was going to show up at my birthday bar extravaganza. I told her some some choice things and all my friends and I all threw our drinks at her and ran her out of the bar. That made me feel better too. Maybe not the most mature thing to do, but it was a dream and we were drunk.

I went to work today and sat in my office like a good little girl and got my work done like I always do. I didn't socialize unless my friends came to me and even then I still "kept it to a minimum." What a joke.

I prayed for peace and a better attitude over and over today, because our company picnic is tomorrow and I think I will have a better attitude once I see all the animals at the zoo.